Wonderland's Problem Child
by AmorEva Luna
Summary: How will the roleholders in Wonderland be able to handle a very problematic child who happens to hate just about everyone with the exception of faceless? Especially when this kid likes to destroy people's property when she's pissed and having to experience all sorts weather doesn't help either. But not everything is what it seems when it applies to the game itself. Joker x OC
1. Chapter 1

**Wonderland's problem child**

**Author's note: hello everyone and sorry for taking so long to update my other story. My computer broke and school is torture, but I somehow get by each day! Any who this is my new story and in dedication to my friends and I love for Alice in the Country of Hearts. Oh how we wish to meet our favorite role holders! My favorite is Joker xD! Plz review and tell me who your favorite role holder is! ****R&R**

Chapter 1: where in the world did this hole come from?

My name is Dorothy Jones and I live in the dirty slums of San Francisco. It's hard living life especially somewhere dirty and slumy. It's even harder when you're constantly on the run from the cops for stealing various things:

-handcuffs

-tazers

-pepper spray

-food

-a few cars maybe

I don't exactly live in a home. If I had a home and lived with some really nice people, I probably would've been a good kid. But you eventually get tired of living in an orphanage surrounded by morons and being adopted and **returned **30xs. All b/c you didn't like the way they treated you and you somehow were able to drive a forklift into their house without getting caught at the age of 7.

Brings back memories, tying up and throwing nuns off the roof. Writing letters to my favorite criminal and etc. I live in an abandoned movie theater, if you can even call it one. Since, it looks like a discarded moldy building and the alley way is full of graffiti and trash. Nonetheless I call it home sweet home.

Some would consider me a thug, b/c apparently I look very "shady" and "unrefined". Well excuse me fancy bitches of the world if I can't afford your goddamn $60 Hollister pants and $50 Aeropostal shirts! It's not my fault I always gotta go to frickin Good Will just to find some goddamn clothes.

Be thankful that your bitch ass isn't getting their purse stolen by me b/c I don't go walking around fucking San Francisco stealing little old ladies purses! Ain't nobody got time for that. What **I** do is meet up with various dangerous gangs in San Francisco, any time any place. Mostly with this seemingly-a-ok gang called the _Pajara Locos _in English known as the Crazy Birds. Silly right?

Well despite my age, I'm a pretty big deal for them. Why? B/c I'm "_Blue Bandit_".

The reason everyone is so obsessed with me is b/c I earned the nickname for being able to steal a $30 million dollar Sapphire Dragon Necklace from a cruise ship. I'll have you know that I happen to wear that baby proudly around my neck inside my shirt so that nobody would get any ideas.

No one knows for sure what exactly happened to it. Some assume that I sold it, others believe it to be hidden somewhere in San Francisco. Like a treasure hunting game, ha! If only that were true, this baby is my "good luck charm" b/c it was one of my very 1st dangerous, stupid and risky thing I have ever done. Also my hair is dyed blue.

I know various martial arts cuz when I found the classic Karate Kid movies in the projector room. I became obsessed with ninjas and etc. It didn't help that there is a China and Japan Town and I found more and more karate movies either, but at least I know how to fight.

I also happen to play the arcade game Street Fighter that I was able to get up and running. Poor thing was sitting there collecting dust along with all the other arcade games inside the theater. Besides accomplishing in becoming The Next Karate Kid I also arm myself with some type of weapon, in case I get into a bit of trouble. Though I'm pretty sure it won't happen b/c if anyone messes with me. I'll cut their dick off or shove my foot up their ass.

Many times when I am pissed off I happen to give off this killer glare a lot. People call it the Tiger's Eye, ironic b/c I was born year of the tiger and I hate animals especially cats.

I'm usually seen near Pier 31 walking around when I have some cash on me, looking thru gift shops or checking out the seafood stands. I'll definitely be walking by that one restaurant that sells sandwiches, soups and etc. the one that carves their bread to look like animals, I always see the bread shaped crocodile!

I will say this, I never ever in my life will I ever shop lift at any of the pier stores b/c of the cool merchandise they have for sell. To me, stealing there would be a goddamn sin and whoever does steal from there, imma hunt your ass down and when I find you, I'll be waving bye to you as you fall to hell.

Right now I'm looking at my iphone checking for any messages that I might have from some "friends" of mine. I'm sitting in movie theater 16 watching Jaws, seeing that I have no messages. I get up and exit the theater not even bothering to turn off the movie projector.

It's not like I got to pay any electrical bills or whatever. I walk by the snack stand and head for my room. I open a door and welcoming me is darkness.

"_Crap I forgot the damn flashlight". _

To get to my room I have to walk downstairs in the dark b/c the light switch is broken and then walk thru a hallway. Climb up a ladder and push up the secret door, crawl thru a vent enter a code, push a fake wall after you enter the correct code, step out of my closet, and close the fake wall. A full proof plan I say.

Unfortunately I never make it to my room cuz I fucking decide to drift off into lalala land and trip on my feet. Causing me to fall down the stairs and then down a hole. Wait, there was never a hole here!

"How the hell did a hole get down here!? Why the fuck am I still alive and falling!?" I scream.

I as I descend down the hole; I see a light at the very bottom. I realize what I am probably am seeing is either welkin or hell. I am so fuckin dead.

_My name is Dorothy and I am 17 years old. I have no friends or family to grieve over me. See you bitches in hell._


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everyone thank you so much for the reviews, I especially give thanks to Shingekyo for being my 1****st**** reviewer. Also last night my dogs found a gigantic rat in my backyard on my roof ceiling. Unfortunately they were unable to capture the intruder, but are relentless in their search even when it's raining cats and dogs lol. If you see your dog staring intensely at something be sure to look in the area that they're looking, you could see something strange or freaky like a rat and if you do, be sure to give your dog lots of love! This chapter goes out to my good friends Amy and Rachel for this incredible idea they had for this lovely chapter you are about to read. Disclaimer: I don't own Alice in the country of Hearts except my OC. **R&R

Chapter 2: What kind of effing game is this?

I'm screaming and near in tears as I fall to my death from falling into a hole that I have absolutely no clue as to how it got there. I getting closer and closer to the bright light and I've realized how much I truly feared death.

"I don't wanna die I don't wanna die!" I scream repeatedly.

I've finally reached my end and now I am one with the light or so I thought. Beyond the brightness lied something that frightened me even more. I pass through the light and find myself continuing to fall down a dark hole, but this hole became even stranger. There were house appliances and knick-knacks floating and falling with me.

As I fall down the hole I see all kinds of furniture everywhere! I see clocks and lamps and-

"SHIT!"

I crash into a shelf of books and all the books fly everywhere. _Damn, that hurt_. It's not over yet and I attempt to swerve my way around successfully avoiding other house hold items. _Ok, so far so good. I'm not dead just yet._

"HOLY SHIT WTF IS A PIANO DOING HERE!?"

I bumped into a piano and the piano comes falling towards me, but stops inches away from my face and begins to play a little song, BY ITSELF. I scream, covering my face with my hands and I end up getting hit by stuff.

I'm spinning wildly around having no control and I fall smack dab into a bed and then bounce off and continue to fall down the hole.

"AAAHHHH!" I scream.

I think I'm finally done falling b/c then a shroud of colors surrounds me. I stop falling and I begin to float in midair and see what people call a _totally incredible sight dude! _I see a big castle fit for a princess over the horizon northwest of where I am floating. North of me is what appears to be tower, northeast an amusement park. I can feel my heart pounding loudly in my chest.

_Making that my 1__st__ top priority to go there as soon as I get down._

Southwest of, me from what I could barely make out was some kind of mansion. I didn't have time to look around a little longer b/c then fucking gravity and physics decide to show up and now I fall again in the middle of a forest.

_This isn't going to end well for me._

I swear somewhere out there somebody hates me and if they saw me know they'd be laughing their ass off right about now. I crash on top of a goddamn tree and smack into branches, fall crash into branches and etc. falling on trees + sky = pain. I'm cut off when I unexpectedly land on my stomach on top of a branch. _Ouch._

"Is it over?"

_Cruuunch snap!_

I guess not cuz the branch snaps and I fall down the tree. _POW, _I'm finally on solid land, but not exactly in the way I pictured it: ass sticking up in the air, arms beside my legs and my face planted on the ground. So much for perfect landing, ain't gonna win the Olympics that's for sure.

"Aw fuck my body fucking hurts like a bitch," I curse. Adjusting my body into a comfortable position, I lay bruised and beat up from today's freaky turn of events. I don't feel like getting up, too much fucking work. I close my eyes and sleep; I have never been so exhausted or scared in my life before.

My eyes open as the sun's rays reach my eyes and force my eyes to open. I push myself up into a cris-cross-applesauce position. I scope the forest not sensing any danger, forgetting that I have pockets and quickly check my green jacket.

-cell phone _check_

_-_tazer _check_

_-_handcuffs _check_

Good I have everything that I need with the exception of a mirror. I check my iphone to see what time it is and notice something slightly off about it…

My phone doesn't tell you what time it is, only that it's morning. _Weird. _I sigh in relief when I enter my password, and see all the familiar apps that I have on it. I slide to the next screen and more familiar pictures.

All my photos and videos are accounted for as well as my txt messages. I slide my finger over my phone one more time and see this unusual looking app on my phone, next to my Doodle Jump app.

_What the hell? I don't remember downloading this app before._

The app showed a picture of a blue bow with a yellow heart and a white background, in black letters titled:

**Wonderland Game**

Curious as a cat, I tapped the app. Here comes the weird part, before I even begin to do anything an Agree to the Terms button shows up explaining a shitload of things that I could care less about reading. I haven't even begun to play the damn thing and its already asking me for permission, what kind of app is this?

I press the Agree to the Terms button and see what happens. The screen changes and at the top of the screen shows a map, roleholders, friends, special events and extras. Wtf is this some kind of cheap Facebook knock-off or something?

This shit is fucking ridiculous; I click "roleholders" thinking maybe it's a role-playing game. An empty picture box pops up, along with blank lines labeled Personal info and Interests and Favorites. I scroll all the way down finding absolutely positively nothing.

Pissed off I lock my phone and run my fingers thru my luscious blue hair, pulling out twigs and leafs. After that I comb my hair with my fingers, since I don't carry a brush. Even though I'm a girl, I could give a shit about carrying useless crap like flat ironers, brushes and makeup around with me.

I brush off the dirt and leafs from clothes and give myself a look-over.

"Well I can't stay in this goddamn forest forever. I have no fucking clue as to where the hell am I and climbing up trees, scoping out the area is out of the question."

So the only option left for me is to wander aimlessly around the forest hoping to find civilization and maybe even that amusement park I saw. Feeling giddy I begin to walk west thinking that that's where I'll find the amusement park.

**Cut scene of the hole:**

I'm screaming and near in tears as I fall to my death from falling into a hole that I have absolutely no clue as to how it got there. I getting closer and closer to the bright light and I've realized how much I truly feared death.

"I don't wanna die I don't wanna die!" I scream repeatedly.

I've finally reached my end and now I am one with the light or so I thought. Beyond the brightness lied something that frightened me even more. I pass through the light and find myself continuing to fall down a dark hole, but this hole became even stranger. There were house appliances and knick-knacks floating and falling with me.

As I fall down the hole I see all kinds of furniture everywhere! I see clocks and lamps and-

"SHIT!"

I crash into a shelf of books and all the books fly everywhere. _Damn, that hurt_. It's not over yet and I attempt to swerve my way around successfully avoiding other house hold items. _Ok, so far so good. I'm not dead just yet._

"HOLY SHIT WTF IS A PIANO DOING HERE!?"

I bumped into a piano and the piano comes falling towards me, but stops inches away from my face and begins to play a little song, BY ITSELF. I scream, covering my face with my hands and I end up getting hit by stuff.

I'm spinning wildly around having no control and I fall smack dab into a bed. I bounce up and down the bed and finally come to a stop. _Whew, glad that that's over._ I lay on the bed catching my breath when I hear a noise beside me.

"Hey there beautiful. Looking for some fun?"

My eyes grow wide as saucers as I turn my head to look at where the noise came from. _Aw shit_, there lying next to me laid a **male exotic dancer wearing nothing, but a SPEEDO**. Quick and witty I rolled out of the bed as fast as I could and continued to fall down the hole with a new found purpose.

The male exotic dancer pouted since he had nobody to talk to or pleasure.

"Too bad, she was kind of cute."

**I would like to give special thanks to my friends Amy, Rachel and Chelsey for giving me such incredible ideas to make this fun chapter! **R&R


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey hey everyone thank you for reviewing my story! I can't believe it 6 reviews yes! I'm trying to make these few chapters longer, but I write this stuff late at night I get kind of lazy haha! Well enjoy and disclaimer: I don't own Alice in the country hearts! Only my oc Dorothy Jones! Remember, ****R&R****!**

Chapter 3: who the fuck throws tea parties anymore!?

Ok the craziest shit just happened to me right now! It started when I woke up in the middle of a forest, it was a bright morning and I was walking around hoping to find that amusement park I saw when I was falling outta the sky. So I'm walking around and then outta nowhere, the SKY TURNS DARK!

I was like _wtf_ it was morning just a while ago! How the hell is the sky gonna turn dark already!? _Goddamn it, _why does this shit always happen to me!? Now I can't see shit and I don't wanna walk around in the dark in a forest full of Dear Lord Jesus is Gospel Church who knows what.

_At least I got my tazer and handcuffs_, I thought.

I carried onward treading deeper into the forest in hopes of ever finding civilization and where there are people, there is bound to be food. I'm so hungry I could eat a horse! I walk carefully in the dark trying not to trip on my feet.

I stop in my tracks and listen… I can hear voices nearby, not very many but enough to make me happy that I'm finally gonna get out of this god forbidden forest. I race towards the voices and slow down and eventually stop.

I stop in front of the mansion I saw from the sky. Whoa, this place is huge! Whoever can afford this must be filthy stickin rich! Wow, I wonder who lives here…

"Hey brother, I'm bored what should we do?"

"I don't know brother, but Boss says we can't leave our spot or we'll get in trouble by Stupid chickie-Rabbit again."

Startled by how close the voices are I hid behind a tree. I wondered whom they referred to as "Boss" and "Stupid Chickie-Rabbit", but from what I can tell these people sounded like kids.

I peeked from behind the tree and saw to little twin boys: one wearing a red hat and outfit with red eyes and black hair. The other one looked exactly like the red one, but instead of red he sported in blue. They seemed to be guarding the entrance of the mansion b/c they were standing in front of a huge gate holding battle axes.

Wait just a goddamn second! What kind of **sick, evil twisted bastard** makes two little kids guard a gate while holding gigantic weapons!? Shouldn't they have some kind of adult supervision or something!? Not that I care or anything, cuz I hate little kids. They're too damn annoying and a total pain in the ass.

I continued watching them from behind the tree, hoping that they might eventually leave or something. When it comes to little kids you never know what their little devious minds are capable of. They still kept on talking not bothering to see if there were any intruders around.

_I feel like a pedophile stalking two little kids from behind a tree. What has the world come too?_

Hmm, I wonder if I should just go over to them and ask them where in the world am I. Idk for some reason these kids seem a little shifty, too shifty for my taste. (**No pun intended since Dee and Dum can change age.)**

Fuck it, there's a good reason why YOLO was created and this is one of them. I walked away from the tree and casually walked towards the twins. I was still cautious about them since they have a big advantage over me. I deducted that they obviously know how to wield a battle ax if they can carry it so easily.

_Play it cool Jones, you don't want to get sliced in half by those two now do you? For once in your life be a good girl and don't act like Blue Bandit. _

Whoo, ok, easier said than done. The twins turned their heads towards my direction, raising their axes and positioning themselves in a battle stance. I emerged from the bushes and seriously hoped that they wouldn't kill on the spot.

"Who are you and what do you want?" they asked simultaneously.

I compensated about giving an alias, but thought of it being a bad idea. One wrong move, and its bye bye.

"My name is Dorothy Jones and I'm lost hopelessly lost and in need of food and shelter," I ask in a weak pitiful voice. Annoyed by the fact, that I had to sound weak, just to have some little kids pity me.

The twins studied me from bottom to top and when they looked at my face. Their eyes showed disbelief and excitement. Something crazy is about to happen I can feel it.

"Can you believe it brother!? Another Outsider!" the red twin said to the blue twin.

"I know right! Hey maybe she'll play with us more than Nii-San!" the blue twin exclaimed.

The fuck? What the hell is an Outsider? Is it some kind of code name for a fugitive crossing the border? Well whatever it means, it made the twins real happy and I'll just roll with it for now. They lowered their weapons and smiled at me like we were the best of friends for the longest time.

I blew out a sigh, relieved that they weren't going to kill me. I smiled back trying to keep up the poor good girl act. I hope they take me inside the mansion and maybe finally talk to someone who can help me out.

"Well my name is Dee," said the blue twin.

"My name is Dum," replied the red twin.

"Together we're known as The Bloody Twins," they said in unison.

I could care less about whom they are an- wait, did they say _Bloody Twin? _Man, I gotta bad feeling about this. They came and hugged me like I was their favorite person in the world. Freaked out I managed to still keep that smile on my face, but in all honesty I really wanted to push them away from me.

"Well aren't you two just the cutest things? Hey, maybe you can tell me where I am and if there's an adult around?" I put on my biggest fake smile.

"Oh sure Big Sis, well for starters you're in Wonderland and in Hatter Territory!"

"Yea we live here and so does Boss and Chickie-rabbit!"

Oh right, right, right. Wonderland! Well the hell is that, he's kidding right? It's a joke right? Dear Lord he's not kidding. Who the hell do they think they are calling me _Big Sis!? This is ludicrous!_

"O-oh ok…well maybe you can take me to see your boss and Chickie-Rabbit? I'd sure love to meet them!"

"Aw no way Big Sis, we wanna play with you!" Dee pouted.

"Yea Big Sis we wanna play with you!" Dum looked at me with sad eyes.

Ugh, kids are such pains. All they wanna do is play, fine if they wanna play then let's play.

"Well how about this lets play a game and if I win you take me to see your boss and Chickie-Rabbit ok?

They smirked at each other and the look on their face scared me. It seems that they've already picked their game and I'm quite worried.

"Hey brother I know a game we should play."

"Yea let's play tag! We're it Big Sis and you run while we try to kill you!"

Wait kind of game of tag is this!? They might've well have said we're going to play the Hunger Games! This is why you never trust or play with little kids! I hightail it back to the woods and find somewhere to hide from these maniacs!

I run and begin to franticly look side to side for a place to hide from these wakkos. I can hear them closing in on me from behind and push myself to run faster. I quickly dart to the left and then to the right. I hide behind a tree and catch my breath. Thank god its dark it'll be harder for them to find me.

Those rotten brats are crazy! No wonder their called The Bloody Twins! Man, I just wanted some place to eat and sleep at. I quietly listen out for Dee and Dum in case they somehow caught up to me. Nothing.

I crouch down and attempt to hide myself in the bushes. Then I hear footsteps coming and I hold my breath in anticipation. I see them thru the bushes and watch them look around for me. Fat chance.

"Big Sis come out come out and play!"

"You can't hide from us Big Sis! We'll find you."

I can't do anything; I don't have a weapon to defend myself with. I stay motionless in the bushes and hope that they don't find me. Suddenly the bushes near Dum begin to move.

"We found you Big Sis!"

"What the hell are you brats doing!?"

Someone appeared and they sounded really angry. I'm saved! A man appeared and I couldn't tell what he was wearing but what I could see was his rabbit ears!

"Stupid Chickie-Rabbit you ruined our game!" the twins yelled.

"You brats are supposed to be guarding the gate! Blood's gonna be real mad at you for leaving."

Wait! This man err, rabbit… rabbit man is Stupid Chickie-Rabbit!? No way, he looks like a Play Boy Bunny! Either way Play Boy Bunny is my hero. I jump out from my hiding spot and make my presence known.

"Wait! Take me with you!" I cry

Play Boy Bunny jumped in surprise to see that they weren't the only ones here.

"Who are you?" he asked and slowly reached for his pocket where I assume his gun is at.

"First of all lemme just say that those little monsters need to be sedated and locked up in a cage! Second my name is Dorothy Jones and where the hell am i!?"

Play Boy Bunny studied me and a look of shock appeared on his face like he just saw something he shouldn't have.

"I don't believe it, another outsider, but how!?"

Again, with the outsider crap. What's an outsider and why do you people keep calling me that!? He gave me a warm friendly smile as if saying I could trust him. I snort, _yea right not after what just happened to me not long ago. I almost fucking died._

"The name's Elliot and sorry about all the fuss. If you have nowhere to stay you can come with us and stay at the mansion." He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.

No way, he's taking me to the mansion!? I'm total stranger yet he is inviting me to his home. Even if Play Boy Bunny is nice, doesn't mean we're officially buddy buddy now. Just b/c he saved me means nothing. All it means is that now I owe him and that's that. Besides I hate animals anyway.

"No way Chickie-Rabbit we're not done playing our game," Dee yelled.

"Yea we were playing tag and you ruined it," exclaimed Dum.

Oh hell no, these fuckers need a spanking. I grab them by their ears and yank on them. They cry out in pain and boy did that feel good.

"Sorry boys, but you lost the game. You didn't find me and Pla- I mean Elliot did so you guys loose. Tough luck kiddos." I smirk.

"Besides we have to get going or we'll be late for Blood's tea party. Also, Alice is coming over so hurry up!" Elliot ordered and the monsters' faces full of smiles complied.

Dee and Dum grab my hands and drag me along to the direction of the mansion. Sweet I finally get something to eat! Although, what kind of name is Blood? Seriously, sounds like some gangbanger's name and who the hell throws tea parties anymore!?


End file.
